Okay, this is actually today's post.
I will keep it short, but here's the brief low-down of what happened.
I was complaining about the heat, as usual. In a few different statuses, a person (who most likely none of you know, and it wasn't any of you) kept on saying something like it's going to be hot for a long time. Not a huge deal, but I sort of poked back (should have said joking or whatever, but I didn't) in a more-aggressive-than-necessary way. Well anyway, this started a back-and-forth that lead to him defriending me on facebook. Sigh...how childish on both of our parts.
Anyway, I while later, but on that day, I wrote a message saying that I was very sorry it had to lead to that, and that I had a complete lack of judgement and shouldn't have been so dumb, but I guess the damage had been done, and I was accused of being unstable, creepy, lacking dignity, etc. I really tried to resolve it peacefully, but this person didn't want anything to do with that. The insults kept coming, which maybe I deserved. My big mistake was getting involved in the first place. I'm very embarrassed, and even though this person really isn't a friend anyway, I am sad that something like this happened...especially because I could have prevented it.
I'm old enough to know better, but I suppose I have my moments of weakness. It's probably something to do with my over sensitivity toward being bullied, and if I sense that someone is poking at me, I get upset. Teasing, okay, fine...I can handle that...but if I'm not sure, I'm afraid at times I won't really err on the side of caution. PLEASE don't get me wrong...this isn't an excuse. It's something that I need to work on.
Maybe a lot of you don't see the big deal. That's fine. I'm a pretty sensitive person, in case you couldn't tell. I love people, and strive (most of the time) to have good/civil relationships with others. Of course I have messed up lots. Probably some of you reading this are scoffing right now, because I've been a jerk. Let me know! Sometimes I'm oblivious.
This has been a ramble. Share your thoughts, if you'd like, about this stuff. Sorry if you thought better of me. I'll work on it. I really will.
2 comments:
Crap happens, dude. Seriously. If this individual doesn't know you well enough to grasp that you would never intentionally say something to injure their feelings, and that FB is not the greatest medium for communication, then what can you do? Life is one big confrontation (scarce resources, opinions, etc.) and we can try as hard as we might to keep everything clear and cool, but sometimes you have to take a stand, and sometimes stuff is said/written in a way that isn't super clear. Way she goes, really. It IS sad that people will let a miscommunication disrupt a discussion or friendship, but if someone wants to be offended they will, and if they don't want to read between the lines, or put context to the comment, they'll do that too. Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't let anyone insult you when you did not have any intention of insulting someone else. This person needs to grow up and figure out that people say and do things that they might not agree with, and that just because they do does not mean it's a personal attack, IMO.
One day soon I hope there is a complete set of characters or code or symbols to indicate sarcasm, joking, laughing or other emotions in text as text is so much more prevalent in back and forth communication than it ever was before. People can reply before they have a chance to think about what they've said. I guess that is the case in person, but in person you can read sarcasm or joking.
However, until that set of emotion indicators comes, i hope people learn to lighten up, conside the tone in which something may have been written, instead of the tone in which they are reading it, and try to not overreact to things written online.
As for your specific situation, you listened to your heart, swallowed your pride, apologized and hoped it was done. It should have been. Even if you weren't re-friended, you did your part and as much as you should reasonably have done, maybe more. I am also a sensitive guy and get tangled up in anger, sadness, self dislike and anxiety when I receive insults or undeserved criticisim.
Bit, I guess the truest statement about the Internet is never feed the trolls. The more you fight back, the stronger they get.
Post a Comment