Friday, May 06, 2011

Day 115

This morning I went on a photowalk with a friend who knows quite a bit more than me about photography, and especially artificial lighting. It was a good time, although I felt shy about taking pictures for some reason. I guess my self confidence isn't where I'd like it to be quite yet.

Had a decent afternoon. Jenn worked on an assignment (from her course in Toronto a while back), while I cleaned up. We went for a walk, then came back and had supper.

I had a moment of sadness this evening. There have been quite a few babies born in the last few months and weeks in our friends circles. We've enjoyed holding the babies. Tonight for some reason I found myself holding a teddy bear my mom-in-law gave us for our baby who was to be born in October. It is about the same size as a small new born. I sat there holding it, wishing it was a real baby. I though to myself that it doesn't matter how many babies I hold, it won't fill the hole in my heart, so to speak. I have to give the babies back, of course, and go home.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Thanks for posting Jason. I appreciate your honesty and openness. I have a necklace that Dan bought me with our baby, Nevaeh. It is the month that our baby's life was created. (About when we conceived it) I wanted something to commemorate it's life rather than it' s death. I wear it when I miss my baby. But it's not the same as holding your little one.
I hope that God brings you peace and comfort as you grieve.