Day 93

Sorry for the lack of information the last couple of days. It's been a difficult week for Jenn and me, to say the least.

To make it brief, we found out on Monday that our little one didn't make it. We were/are devastated, but hold on to the hope that one day in the not so far future, we will be able to hold a and cherish and parent a beautiful baby. That being said, we will never forget the time we had growing attached to the idea of this little baby. Even though it was only 9 weeks old when it went to the other side, we loved it already, and won't forget our experience.

It's awful, what a woman has to experience in a miscarriage. Knowing that something is still in your womb, just waiting, knowing what will happen, but dreading the experience. I love my wife dearly, and wish somehow this part would be made as easy as possible. If you're a praying person, say a prayer for her tomorrow (Thursday morning), as I will be taking her to the hospital to see the doctor.

I'm so sad, my heart hurts, and I will never underestimate the pain others feel when they go through this. Yes, it is very common, but that doesn't make it easier, not by a long shot. Pregnancy consumes an expectant mother. It is constantly on a future father's mind. We fantasize about what the baby will look like, what funny things he or she will say and do, cuddling the baby, comforting the baby, loving the baby, and a million other things. There is an emotional attachment that happens instantly. The morning after we knew Jenn was expecting, she glowingly whispered to me, "I told the baby I loved it". We were in love instantly, and now, for a moment, that love and joy has been violated by death. That being said, we have to trust that we will fall in love again.