It might seem silly to others, but tomorrow we're having a mini service for our little one. It'll consist of prayer and sharing some thoughts. I think we're having it by the river. I wonder if others have services for for their miscarried babies...not like it matters.
I don't need to hear that miscarriages are common. I know they are. It doesn't matter to me. Each and person/couple who experiences a miscarriage goes through pain. The commonness doesn't make it easier. Also, the fact that Jenn is young and has lots of time to try again doesn't make us feel better about what's happening now. This all being said, some people don't know what else to say, and honestly think words like these are assuring, or comforting. I don't bother getting insulted or angry. I know most people mean well.
Today we visited some friends of ours who had a beautiful baby girl on the day we found out our baby didn't make it. We are so happy for them. Their baby is absolutely amazing. It hasn't been the easiest being around all the babies that are cropping up these days, but I'm of the belief that if we don't celebrate with our friends now, bitterness might grab hold, and grow in our hearts. Besides, I can live vicariously through our friends for now, in a non creepy way. I think holding babies, smelling their baby smell, watching them sleep, and make their funny baby faces, can be healing, uplifting, soothing, comforting.
I'm really sad that ours had to go away. I'm really looking forward to meeting baby Elam one day in heaven.
3 comments:
Praying for you on this day. Love you guys,
Riley, Candra & kids
I commend your positive attitude toward those spewing insensitive words.
Bitterness would hold a false comfort... I'm afraid if I were in your shoes I would be bitter.
You are a strong man, with faith and grace greater than mine, and I have learned about myself from what you have experienced and written.
I pray for peace for you both.
You are right that (common or not) it is an extremely hard thing to go through. I think that you guys should not worry about what other people think and do what you need to, to deal with your loss. From the time you know you are expecting you are attached and love your little one. Know that people are not intentionally spewing insensitive words and are just so very sorry for your loss and we are all there for you, hurting for you and doing nothing but sending love your way and hoping for peace for you soon.
Love you both
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