Day 300

Its hard to believe that 300 days have passed by since i started this daily blog. I don't remember why i started it, but through middle i remember vividly, as it was during some of the most difficult moments of my life. Blogging, i am sure, played a huge part in my healing process. Now, for the last couple months, I've been struggling with a direction, and at times with motivation in wanting to put the time into it day to day. Anyway, you've heard it all before so I won't bore you anymore.
I know I keep saying this but I really would like to do some fun things on this blog. I don't know if that means games, or a give away, or more videos, etc. Its just a matter of making the time to do cooler things, or putting more thought into the posts.
Well, thanks again for reading day after day. I really aappreciate it. It has been an adventure, to say the least. I am looking forward to the next 65 days.
Take care, everyone. Love you all.

Day 299

I ordered new glasses today. I was going to post photos of me in different frames, but decided against it, because I find that everyone has different tastes, and I get nowhere. Nothing against your taste in frames, but it's me that has to enjoy the glasses I wear. I chose a classic black plastic frame with a vintage look, by a company called SALT.. The frames i chose are called Clark, and you can see them here. I really like them, but worried that I couldn't pull that look off. Then I said, "Self, you can pull it off because you say so". Actually, I just told myself that as long as I like them, it doesn't matter what others think. I'll still probably look for compliments, because I'm insecure a little. ;)

Anyway, I'm heading to bed. Yes, as usual, it's late. It's a problem, I know. It's something that's going to be pretty difficult for me to give up...staying up late.

See you tomorrow, for day 300. I wish day 300 fell on a better day, but Tuesday will have to do. Take care, everyone! Love you!

Strange, I'm almost at day 300. I will admit that lately i have been struggling in the motivation department. I have gotten lazy with posts. I will try hard to finish well. I don't want  to fizzle out.

Day 297 Skinny

I'm feeling skinnier today. I'm wearing an xl shirt, and size 36 pants. Don't get new wrong,it really depends on where one shops, and the brand of clothing, etc. I haven't worn a size 36 since my first year of college, in 1997.  Yup, I'm feeling good.

Day 296 (posted the day after...cheating, I know, but it's my blog. :))

Day 295

I continue my night flash series, with a piece called "Too bright for my eyes"

Day 294

About to go to sleep, thought I'd do a self portrait. I call this one, "A face only a mother could love"

Take care, all. Love you!

Day 293

Tuesday down. I felt good today. I've been feeling good in general lately. Ever since I started medication, and started eating a lot better, my energy has gone way up. I'm still very out of shape, and need to lose a lot more weight, but I'm well on my way. I just had a late night vegetable snack. One of the things I want to do is cut down on my snacking late at night. When I do snack, however, it's pretty much all vegetables. I usually steam them/cook them a bit. The difference between now and a month ago, is that now I snack because I'm hungry, not just because I am up. So, I don't feel too bad about it at all...especially because it's veggies...lots of fibre, and nutrients.

Enough about that, for now!

I'm getting more excited about the baby coming. We aren't ready at all, but we'll get there. I think closer to Christmas we'll start looking for some baby stuff. We also have to downsize our own stuff, and make room for baby furniture and all that. It'll be tight in a one bedroom, but doable. I don't care what anyone says...you don't need a huge house to have a baby in. Well, you don't need a huge house, period, in my opinion, but that's another conversation. Anyway, I'm very excited, and now that my wife's belly is starting to grow, it adds to the excitement.

That's about it for now. You all take care. Thanks for reading. Love you!

Day 291, 292

I really need to stop trying to blog late at night. It just doesn't work, especially when I had a short sleep the night before.

Yesterday was an okay day. I played my electric guitar for the first time in a while, and it was nice. I play an electric so seldom, that I'm not sure how to play it unlike an acoustic. They are much different to play, though. I consider myself very lucky to have two such beautiful guitars.

Today, again because of a short sleep last night,  I was super tired. I had a nap on the couch, but it was too long, so my morning wasted. I haven't done that in a long time. I had high hopes for today, but I won't beat myself up too much. I have to do an interview with a sexual health educator for one of my classes, this afternoon. The only think I'm worried about is the battery dying on my camera (I'm charging it now, but I'm not sure how long the charge holds). I think it takes any double a's though, so I might go pick up a small pack of those.


Anyway, tonight I think my wife and I will go on a little coffee date or something. With me working weekends and Jenn working during the week, we hardly spend a day together. We'll obviously spend time together, but not longer periods of time. We miss it. :)


I hope you're doing well these days. Take care.

Day 290

Day 290 in the books. It was a pretty good day overall. My boss asked me to come in early and work a full day. It was a great day, other than breaking the water jug lid. A mistake that could have been avoided, but it happened, and my boss showed a lot of patience and understanding. He said he was glad I didn't cut myself, and that it was bound to happen at some point anyway (as in, someone was going to break it eventually, not that I was going to).

I've been feeling pretty hungry here and there, especially between meals. I don't think I've been eating quite enough. I'll talk about it on my misterdiabetic vlogs, but I think I'm afraid of food at the moment. I'm afraid that food will hurt me, not help me. So, I eat fairly small portions, and have a vegetable/fruit snack here and there. For the most part, I've been good, but today, especially tonight, i was quite hungry. I made myself a good size veggie "stir fry" (without all the sauce...just used a tiny bit of olive oil and some franks redhot). I was told that I can eat veggies without any real concern of it having to watch carbs. Well, almost all veggies...I have to watch the starch, like potatoes, corn, etc. Anyway, this isn't exciting for you, I'm sure.

I should probably get to bed. 6:30 comes early, especially when it's 1:00 am already.

Take care, all. Love you!

Day 289

Wow, sleepy.

I find when I try to blog right after waking up from dozing off, my mind has so much trouble focusing on one thing. It's sort of a drunken feeling, if I guess what that feels like.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone.Enjoy the last couple of days will November starts. Love you all.

Day 288

Tomorrow (Friday) morning I have an appointment with the diabetes education centre. I'm not sure what they're going to tell me, other than general education on diabetes and diet tips and things of that nature. I'm looking forward to it, but I hope it's not a group meeting. It probably will be, but I hope not. I do better one on one with that sort of thing. I guess I'll see.

I also have to get up early tomorrow for a meeting, so I really should go to bed. 5:30am comes pretty quick. Take care!

PS, be looking forward to a new vlog/blog I plan on starting about weight loss and diabetes and health in general (including mental health). I'm not an expert at all, and that's the point. It's going to be about my journey toward health, away from bad habits and a lifestyle that has hurt me over the years. I don't know the exact format, or exactly what it'll look like, but I'm really looking forward to it. I really hope it'll be mostly videos via youtube.

Okay, for real this time, take care. Love you all.

Day 287

I keep in nodding off before I can think if anything to talk about. I hope you're all doing well. I'm sure I'll write noted tomorrow. Love you. Take care.

Day 286

I had a great dream the other night. I dreamt that we adopted a little girl of about three years old. We haven't been talking about adopting ourselves, but we had been talking  about adoption with friends of ours who are adopting for a second time. I think that's why the adoption thing. Anyway, back to my dream.
For some reason friends had this child with them, and she was either abandoned or her patents died,  I don't know. I fell in love with her. I mean, it was one of those dreams where you sort of can feel the emotion outside your dream in real life, but you are still sleeping. However you explain it, I felt love in mt dream. I asked her if she wanted to come home with us, and she did. The emotions were intense, and I felt love for that child. I was almost disappointed to wake up, until I realized I was laying next to my beautiful wife and had a baby on the way. I think the love I felt in my dream is the love I have for them. Just a thought. God keep this one healthy please.

Day 285

Well I'm thinking tonight about different personality types. My wife and I went to a marriage small group tonight. We will be going through four different personalities, and their needs, wants, behaviors, the way they love, the way they need to be loved, etc. It should be very interesting. I like discussing different personality types, with the understanding that rarely does anyone fit perfectly into one. Often, however, the descriptions are uncanny, and you can share a few inside jokes with a glance.
I think I'm going to bed now. Thanks for coming by to read. Love you all, take care.

Day 284

Tomorrow (Monday) morning I am getting more blood work done. I've been eating really well, I think...and I've been taking my medication, so I hope my sugar is much better this time.

I am not going to write much right now. I'm super sleepy tonight, and would like to make it to bed by 11pm. If I did, that would be a record. I just need to wait for some clothing to dry.

I know, how exciting is this post!

Day 283

It's not very busy at the moment. :) Still, it's a nice distraction from life. Don't worry, this probably won't be the only post today. Talk to you later!

Day 282

Okay, I had a thought just now, and I really hope I can stick to it. My issues, or problems aren't worth denying myself to others. Basically, I can't really be there for others the way I want to be if I'm focused on myself. That might be an obvious observation, but the idea just hit me a bit harder just now.

Anyway, I've been thinking about starting a blog about my "journey" toward being healthy. It would for sure be talking about my diabetes, but not necessarily in a "poor me" sort of way. I want to talk about diet, recipes, exercise, thoughts, weigh-ins/weight tracking, measurements, and maybe even the odd family appropriate photo...we'll see about that, though...I'm pretty shy, and I want you to be able to eat your supper after reading the blog. My hope is that it will be helpful to everyone, not just diabetics. Let me know what you think. Yay, or nay?

Okay, I need to keep studying. Love you all, and thanks so much for reading.

Day 281

Okay, I know that 280 thing was sort of unfair...but I never promised huge inspiring posts...thankfully. That being said, it was a little cheap of me, eh?

I'm feeling less sorry for myself today. From the moment my wife told me my health news, I knew that I would get over feeling sorry for myself...I just needed to go through a process. Feelings come and go/ go up and down pretty fast these days. Sometimes I just need to sit there and pout for 5 or 10 minutes, then I feel better. Today I feel my emotions are pretty level, and I am thinking through stuff in a more positive light. Sorry about my complaining over the last couple of posts, but that's what this is all about, after all. My blog will contain what I want it to contain. Okay, let's talk about something else.

I'm getting super excited for the next few weeks. My wife is nearing the end of the first trimester, and hopefully that will mean she'll start feeling a bit better and more energetic. I know it's not always like that, but I'm hopeful...and so is she. I'm also excited for her belly to start growing. We have reached consensus that she has a bit of a baby bump going on now, but I think she's afraid to say it, because some books say women usually don't start showing till a couple weeks from now. I think everyone is different. She hasn't gained much at all, yet her belly is shaped different than it was before. I say baby bump, and I'm sooooo excited by that. She's going to be an extremely cute pregnant woman. She already is. :)

One more thing that's exciting is that Jenn got in for an ultrasound right on the day she reaches 20 weeks. December 16th. We both want to find out the physical sex of the baby. I don't why, really...we just want to know.

Okay, I should keep on going with the homework. I hope you're doing well! Take care, love you all.

Day 280

280! Woo.

Day 279

I think I may have failed my first midterm (or assignment in general) since I started pursuing my social work degree. Failed, or got a bad grade. I studied, but it seems like I studied the wrong stuff. Well, I studied most of what our teacher told us to study, the specifics were all on the exam...stuff I didn't think mattered, instead of the understanding of ideas, concepts, words, etc. It wasn't worth a ton, so should still be able to recover some grades.


I continue to ponder what being diabetic means. I'm sad and angry about it, as i think I mentioned before, but I'm going to fight against being depressed about it.

I haven't had trouble watching what I eat, but it has only been a couple of days. The hardest part for me, I think, is going to be learning how to retrain myself in the emotional eating department. I am definitely an emotional eater. When I'm happy, I celebrate with food. When I'm sad or depressed, I eat food. When I'm angry, I eat. I know I've needed to work on that for a long time.


Thanks for reading again. Love you all.

Day 278

I'll just get down to it.

I'm not going to tell you what I'm about to tell you for sympathy points, or even to complain. I'm telling you because that's the point of this blog...to tell you about myself, keep you updated on what's going on, and to be transparent and as genuine as possible. Anyway, enough of that.

When I was struggling with the worst of my depression this last year, and was contemplating medication but wasn't sure, I had a few wise friends ask me "if you had diabetes, wouldn't you take medication to help you get better?" Of course, I said yes, and eventually decided it would be best for my mental health to take anti-depressants.

You probably know where this is going, but I'll continue anyway.

A few months ago, I made a decision to cut out (or dramatically reduce) sugary/calorie drinks like juices, sugary pops, etc. I held to it pretty well, and I was also making an effort not to eat as much (I still struggled with eating a bit in the evenings). Anyway, the weight started to come off...10 pounds, 20 pounds, etc. I'm not sure how much I weighed when i started drinking less calories, but I think it was around 290, maybe 285. Recently I weighed myself at 258. I was pumped, to be sure.

Go back a year-ish. My family doctor, wise as he is, gave me a blood work req because I was a new patient of his, and he wanted to see how I was doing. I put that damn thing off for a year. I had the blood work done this past Saturday morning, and a message was left on my answering machine Sunday afternoon, telling me that the results were consistent with diabetes. I got in to see my doctor on a cancellation appointment, and now I'm on medication for type 2 diabetes. I don't know if it's ironic, or just a "funny" coincidence, but there you have it.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad and angry about this. Unfortunately, this is the inciting incident that will force me to get my act together. If I don't act on this, my health deteriorates, and, well...you know. If I do act on it, exercise and eat well, find a good balance, etc., my life could potentially be better than before I had diabetes.

For those of you who aren't aware (I hardly am yet), type two diabetes is the type without insulin needles. It's definitely the lesser of the two, but will still require diligence, hard work, and the support of my wife to manage/control it.

Like I said, I'm not looking for empathy/sympathy. Although it is genetic, it's also a lifestyle thing. How could I expect to be as overweight as I am/was, and not run the risk of developing diabetes.

Funny thing is, that I thought I was slowly getting my weight down on my own terms...but it was my condition that was making me lose weight. I guess I was never able to do it on my own. That's one frustration I have.

I'll probably talk about this more, to work it through. I hope you don't mind. Thanks for your listening (reading) ear (eyes). Love you all. Take care.

Day 276 and 277

Well, yesterday was pretty decent, except for the jerks coming into work, but really that's not that bad. Okay, that's it for Saturday's information.

Yesterday (Sunday) morning was church as usual, and that went pretty good. I lead the worship music at church every so often, and it's something I really enjoy doing. Anyway, after church it was work, then after work it was supper at my in-laws house with a bunch of other people. That's Saturday and Sunday.

There, now I'm caught up. Sorry I've missed the last two days. I haven't given up, honestly. I hope that today I'll be back on track. Thanks for your patience! Take care.

Jason

Day 275

Tomorrow I have to get some blood work done. Actually, I was supposed to get this blood work done over a year ago, but I put it off ha ha. It wasn't an emergency...just to check the regular stuff like cholesterol, etc. Anyway, tomorrow morning (Saturday) is it. I'll just get it over with now, and hopefully won't have to get anymore needles for a while.

Things are going pretty good. Went to the Keg tonight for dinner with my wife and her parents. After that, we got cheese cake. Yum. It was my wife's favorite kind...toffee cheesecake.

I should get to bed. I might have a busy morning running around tomorrow, then I have to work the afternoon till 6. After that, we're having supper with my parents. It'll be a good day.

Take are, all. Love you!

I just needed to say it here too. We got to hear our babys heart beat today. My wife is talking to the midwife now. I'm a bit emotional at the moment, but in a good way.

Day 273

My first post written from my phone on a blogger application. Its very simple looking, but if it gets the job done, great.
This way, I can switch locations with out having to fully stop writing, our if I need to stop for a bit, and come back to writing later, that is fine. I can also write when inspiration strikes, instead of trying to remember and inevitably forgetting.
I'm sitting in the parking lot at Sobeys at the moment. I just got a few essentials.

Tomorrow (probably today when you read this) we're going to our midwife to hopefully hear our baby's heartbeat. I am really really l looking forward to that.

I should get going home. Thanks for reading again today. Love you, take care. If there are any words out of place, blame the new phone.

Day 272

Funny, I'm back in the same chair, writing the same paper. This time, however, the paper is due at 9am, so I have to finish it. My brain seems to be doing everything in it's power to avoid writing, even though I know I need to. I will finish it, but it's a painful process at times, especially when it comes down to the wire like this. I never have worked well when there was no pressure. I need to make that change, because it's not fun to only be able to work under pressure.

Anyway, after this paper is finished, it's on to going through another unit on my web class, then studying for a midterm quiz next week. I am not going to cram for that quiz, so the plan that I will follow is to study on Thursday, Friday, and Monday for sure. Maybe even the weekend after work.

Okay, I have a paper to finish. Thanks for stopping by. The comment board has been pretty quiet these days. I suppose there's just not much to comment on.

Here's a question for you: are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what/who?

Day 271

I'm on a chair in my living room trying to work on a paper. I've started taking notes from resources. I'm terrible at starting papers, and have a slight procrastination problem. I know, I've already mentioned that.

Considering that thanksgiving weekend has wrapped up, I thought I'd share a couple of things I'm thankful for. First, I'm thankful for my wife. I have probably mentioned it before, but it's a tragedy that most people don't get to see how funny she is, or experience how loving and understanding she is. She's pretty quiet around larger groups, and I consider myself extremely lucky to know her so well. My wife has shown me more understanding, patience and love than I deserve, and I can't imagine marrying anyone else. My prayer for her is that she would be able to find a close friend that would invest as much into her and she would into that friend. A non wishy-washy, steady friend. One that phones just to see how she's doing. One to go on women's night outs. One to pray with her/for her. I great friend, I guess is what I am trying to say. I guess lots of people don't really have that, but that's what I want for my wife.


The second thing I am thankful for is the fall. The weather, and the mood, I appreciate both. It's weird, but autumn brings somberness and introspection at times, and I like both. I could probably just drink coffee and stare out a window for hours, and get lost in my thoughts. There are dangers to this, however, and I must be careful. Autumn also brings cheer. When the weather cools, my mood immediately improves. I just don't like the heat, as all of you know. My wife and I went for a walk this morning, and the cooler air with the warm sun mix was close to perfect. That, and watching the trees hang on to their leaves has been nice as well. If you ever want to sit over coffee and co-introspect with me, just give me a shout/fire off an email/text.


I think I should leave it at that. Of course there are many more things I'm thankful for. I don't want to get too cocky. :) Seriously though, I love and appreciate you all. The idea that there are many people who come here day after day, or week after week, warms me. Your acceptance to my openness has been an encouragement to me in a big way. Thanks so much.


Take care.

Day 270

Aaaand I'm back! Ha, pathetic.

I shared in church today about the stuff I've been through in the past year. I felt like I was just repeating myself, because I've shared pretty much everything on this blog. Then again, I'd be arrogant to think that everyone reads this blog! :) Well, based on the stats, I know roughly how many hit I get per day, and it definitely isn't everyone.

________________
Ha ha, wow, I fell asleep again, and I'm just clicking on "publish" this morning. I have to get myself together!! I'll post earlier on 271, I promise!

Day 269

Did it AGAIN. This time I forgot I did it. I remembered that I was to tired to write anything, but then forgot that that happened. Anyway, sorry. I'll post this in lieu of yesterday's post.

Day 268

I'm making cinnamon buns tonight. I haven't done that in quite a while. I used to make them quite a bit in college when I had my own apartment, and have people over to eat them. Cinnamon buns, and regular buns. It was very relaxing for me, and a way to avoid homework. :)

I work this weekend again, of course, but I wish I had it off for thanksgiving weekend, and for homework. I have a paper due on Wednesday. Oh well...I'll make due.

Bla bla bla, boring again. If I just made the time, and posted photos and did some fun stuff, eh? I think I've said it before...I might be doing the bare minimum these days, just go get through. I think it'll get better soon...at least I hope it does, for your sake!

That's about it for now. I have to go put the cinnamon buns in the oven. Take care, all! Love you!

Day 267

Oops, I did it again, I fell asleep before I posted.

I got a new phone. I decided I would try android power this time. Don't get me wrong...I like apple, and iPhones are pretty sweet for what they do...I just wanted an android. I don't think any of you care, so I'll stop.

Oh, just one more thing...for those of you who are wondering, I got the Samsung Galaxy S2.

Okay, that's all I'll say about that for now. No wait, one more thing. Don't go thinking we spent unwisely just because of the fancy phone. We saved our pennies, literally. Also other spare coins, tip money, and a few dollars here and there over the last few months. I've been trying not to care what others think, but we definitely have been trying to be more financially responsible. That's a habit that you want others to have as well...financial responsibility. We have a ways to go, but it has definitely improved.

My parents are coming through this morning for breakfast before they continue through to Alberta. I wish I could go, but an assignment and work are holding me back. One of these Thanksgivings I'll make it out to my family.

I'll stop there. I'll post later, for the actual Friday Day 268 post. Thanks for reading! Take care.

Day 266

Ninety Eight days left after today's post. No, I'm not going to count down the entire time.

I've been obsessing over phones lately. It's sort of a personality thing, mixed with a falling into the consumer trap thing. I'm not too worried about spending too much though, as we've been saving up for new phones for a while now. I think I've decided which one I want, but I'm not sure about my wife yet. I'll let you know how the search goes.

I think that's really all the news I have for you tonight. I hope you're all doing great. Take care.

Day 265

This is it. It feels much more like the home stretch than it did half way through the year. Today there are only 100 posts left till the end of my year. After I finish this post, only double digits left. Strange.

Some people are really good bloggers. They can think of stuff to write, and think about. Some can make people laugh. Some can vent really well. Honestly, I'm not sure what I've done over the past 265 days on this thing. That's okay though. I'm fine with that. It is what it is. I think when it's over, I will blog with a more specific purpose, and probably not every day. Anyway, enough about that.


Spent a little time with some friends tonight. They have a really great 5 month old boy. It made me really look forward to having our own child. I probably don't need to say it, but losing our first has made me appreciate even more the idea of having a child. I value very much the life of that little baby, and I just want it to make it to term, happy and healthy.


We weren't able to hear the heart beat of our last baby. They had tried a few times over a couple of weeks, and finally decided to do an ultrasound, which is when they found out the baby had died. Hearing the heart beat of our new baby is extremely important to us. Our appointment is next Thursday. I'll keep you posted.


I think I'll leave it at that tonight. I know that baby stuff is sensitive to some, and others just find pregnancy/baby talk annoying. Okay, okay. I'll stop for now. Take care.

Day 264

I've been reading a book today that isn't easy to retain. Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it. Good ol' policy textbooks.

I don't know how people read fast. Is it something I'm doing wrong, or can only certain people read quickly and retain information? Is faster reading attainable, or am I screwed? I feel like I waste so much time. Buh.

That was my complaint of the day. It's really not so bad. I can think of many more things that are good than bad.

I'm going to sleep now. I will talk to you all tomorrow. Take care.

Day 263

We skipped church this morning. Not because we didn't want to go. We love going to church, hanging out with friends, hearing what our pastor has to say, etc. No, we didn't go because we just wanted to spend some time together, just to two of us. Ever since I started working weekends, we only see each other in the evenings, and Saturday and Sunday mornings, sort of. So, we spent the morning with each other. We did the same thing a few weeks ago. We'll probably do it again, as long as I'm working weekends. Anyway, vital information you need to know. :)

I'm going to bed. It's before midnight, so it'll be a record. Take care, all. Love you!

Day 262

It was an okay day. Work was good, and we went for supper at friends house.

I honestly don't know what to mention or talk about this time. I keep hoping that I'll be inspired and have lots of stuff to talk about. Nothing yet.

I hope you're all doing well. Take care.

Day 261

Oops, missed yesterdays. This is its replacement.

Hello. It's day 261. Nice to see you again. Day 262 will be my replacement, and I'll slip into obscurity.

Take care!

Day 260

Woo hoo! Another increment of 10 down! I'm thinking about having a party for my 265th post, because there are only 100 left after that. Who knows. We'll see. Ha ha, my life is so exciting.

Speaking of exciting, I had a thought about myself the other night. I don't think I like to commit to opinions out loud because I'm afraid people won't like me if I have a differing opinion than them. Isn't that sad? Don't get me wrong, I have opinions and values and beliefs, and will share some of them no problem...but I think the title of this blog is super ironic, because I hardly share my opinions on things. At least, not on divided issues, or difficult issues. Anyway, I'm not going to start spewing opinions to alienate people. Anyway, some thoughts. Maybe you see it as being spineless. Who knows. I never was a good debate person. I always think of what to say after, and that never helps.

Let me know what you think of that. Am I being spineless? Am I being inclusive? Have I been opinionated? I can take it, I promise. :) And no, I'm not looking for validation. I'm curious what you think of it.

Anyway, we had our first midwife appointment today, which was good. My wife had some questions answered, and we got some advise that we'll adhere to. We're going back in a couple of weeks to hear the heart beat. We're not getting an ultra sound until about 20 weeks, unless the midwife is unable to hear the heart beat. That's what happened last time. No one could hear the heart beat, so they got us in for an ultra sound, and they found that our little one had died 3 weeks previous. Anyway, my wife is very positive about this one. She feels good about it. Well, physically she feels terrible, and super tired all the time, but she feels good about the health of the baby. I feel bad for her, because she's been having trouble getting the eating thing down right. She'll get hungry, so she'll eat something, but then feel ultra bloated. I hate feeling bloated...I can't imagine it being all the time. I can't imaging that feeling of complete exhaustion all the time, either. A friend of ours said that men will never understand what that exhaustion feels like. I agree completely, of course. Pregnancy is exciting, but it can be/is difficult, from my observation only. Well, I'll just continue to be as supportive as possible.

I've been thinking of starting a twitter account, or something else that I can quote or explain the things my wife says or does that's due to the pregnancy. I'll only do it with her permission, of course. It might embarrass her, which it's not the intention. The intention would be to bring humour to an otherwise emotional or physically difficult situation. It might help lighten things a little. Laughter as medicine, so to speak. We'll see. I'll keep you posted about that. Someone is probably already stealing the idea as they read this. No, I wasn't accusing you. Someone else.

I've rambled on for long enough now. Thanks for reading again. Take care, of course. Love you all.

Day 259

Another Wednesday finished. Even thought I only got about 3 hours or slightly less of sleep last night, I managed to get through the day in decent shape. There were definitely times when my brain wasn't functioning very well, but overall, an okay day.

I'm blanking on what to write about...again...sigh. Someday, I promise I'll have something interesting to write about!

I'm yawning too much. Good night all. Love you. Take care.

Day 258

I'm sorry, but it's 3:40am, and I am feeling so tired and out of it. I usually try not to do this, but I had to finish an assignment, so here I am. Bed time now. I'll get about 2 hours of sleep, maybe 3, then I'm up for the day, I think. I have a morning class, so I'll have to drink some serious coffee. I wish Museo was open at 8, but they aren't till 9. Sigh.

Thanks so much for reading. I hope you got more sleep than I did!

Take care.

Day 257

Monday is finished. Highlight of my day? I'd have to say when my boss texted me and said I could come watch some roasting if I had time. I had been wanting to see the roaster in action for a while, so I was geeking out a bit, trying to soak in as much information as possible. The process is actually a lot shorter than I thought. That being said, it's not a huge machine, so it takes longer to roast more. Very exciting for me, anyway. I wish I would have taken a picture with my cell phone or something for you to see, but maybe another time.

I've been working on an assignment due tomorrow night. I thought I would get it done tonight, but it has been taking a bit longer than originally though. That's probably a little because of the procrastination, but I'll get it done before the due time. No worries yet.


My wife went to bed at about 9:30, and here I am, writing this blog at almost 1am. I should follow her lead, and I would probably be much more happy and productive during the day. My afternoon class is going to kick my butt.

Take care, everyone.

Day 256

I'm not sure how else to announce it, so I'll just say that that my is expecting. We're extremely excited, and trying very hard to be completely positive without worrying. There are milestones we'd like to get past for our own sake, but at the same time we are trusting that this pregnancy will be different than the past. We're expecting a healthy pregnancy, and a healthy happy baby. That being said, Jenn has been quite sick and super tired, etc. I know those are all good signs, but it's pretty difficult for her as she works full time at a job that requires lots of brain power. Think of her during the week as she works. :)


Anyway, some of you already know, some of you I haven't had the chance to tell. If you're disappointed that you found out this way, my apologies. I didn't exclude anyone on purpose. One of my biggest pet peeves regarding news like this and announcements online is when people make a comment that they've known for a while, bla bla bla. I think it's sort of rude, and know most of you wouldn't do something like that. If you were thinking of doing that, however...here's your warning. :) There are the obvious people that have known from the start, like some close family. Anyway, I'm just rambling now.


So yeah, if you hadn't guessed already, this was the announcement I wanted to make (as mentioned a few posts ago). I've been dropping very subtle hints, like the number of weeks Jenn is, in various posts...but I didn't actually go and say my wife is ___ weeks along. I just said the weeks in various places. I don't know...just for something to do.


Anyway, we're super happy, but just like last time during my wife's short pregnancy, I can't help but think all the time about those who have had difficulty in trying to have a baby.


That's it, I think, for now. I'll probably share some thoughts about it as we go. Thanks for stopping by again to read. Love you all. Take care.

Day 255

Pretty slow day at work, but it was still a good day. I know tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon is going to be busy as it usually is, so it gives me good practice behind the bar. Fun stuff!

My co-worker showed me his photo album today. He has an old Olympus film camera that his dad gave to him I think. Looking at his pictures made me want to take my film slr's our for a spin one of these days. Not sure when that will be, but some day I'll do that. Should be fun.

I realized the other day that there are people who check out my blog who I wouldn't have guessed check it out. Thanks for reading! These days haven't been particularly riveting, but I'm sure inspiration will strike one of these days. :)

I think I'm going to leave it at that. Take care, all. Love you!

Day 254

I've been reading a lot lately. I am a bit behind on my research, so I would like to catch up as best as I can. Doing okay so far, but have a ways to go still. I can't imagine how much reading some people do in English majors, or going to ivy league universities, or where ever they read multiple books per week. I think I've been complaining about my slow reading too much lately. I do enjoy reading, and learning...don't get me wrong. I just have to work harder than others to keep up and get good grades.

Tomorrow (or probably today when you read this) I work again. I miss not working there during the week, which is a good sign I suppose. It's almost like I get a bit rusty during the week, and have to shake it off quickly during the weekends. That being said, I visit during the week as I study, and practice once and a while when I make myself drinks throughout my study time. Eventually, my drinks will look nicer and nicer. They taste great now, though. No worries there. :)


Bed time for ol' Jason. I hope you're all doing well these days. Love you all. Take care.

Day 253

Sorry, but I haven't made the time to post photos of me wearing some glasses. My wife snapped a few today...I just have to upload them. I'm not sure about any of them, to tell you the truth, but we'll see.

Tomorrow my wife has an edo, so we'll get to sleep in a bit, and spend some time together during the day. That will be nice, considering I work on weekends, and only get to see her in the evenings. Tonight we sat and watched too much television. A bunch of shows started their seasons tonight, so that's the reason for that.

My eyes are watering from fatigue. I should go to bed now, I suppose. Love you guys. Take care.

Day 252

Pretty sure I feel asleep before I got the post up last night. Oops. Anyway, I had the camera ready to upload some pictures of some glasses frames, but I'll just do that today sometimes. Yesterday was a decent day. I've been frustrated with how slow I read. I need to do some catching up reading, but when I sit down to read, it takes me forever to get a little reading done. It's been one of my challenges through my post secondary education. Sigh...oh well.

Anyway, I'll post later today as well. Take care!

Day 251

It's supposed to be really hot again later this week and over the weekend. I'm not going to complain, because I know the weather will turn in my favour just after that. I also know that many people like hot weather, and it'll be nice for them.

Earlier this evening I did some pictures for my brother and sister-in-law. It was fun. We stopped at a couple different locations...one with a pond and nice trees and all that, and we walked downtown a bit as well. Hopefully they'll be happy with the results.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. That's special, isn't it? I thought so.

Have a great day, or evening, depending on when you read this. I have class Wednesday morning, then I'm reading in the afternoon...unless I fall asleep. I should get used to doing stuff on no sleep. I would be much more efficient if I could do stuff both night and day. Well, down the road.


Hey, it's basically only 8 weeks or so until the Christmas season starts. Okay, maybe that's a little early. I'll stop being silly.

I'm tired, and not making sense. I love you guys! Take care.

Day 250

Even thought it is not that special, there's something about post 250 that I like the sound of. I think that's all I have to say about that.

I started looking at new glasses frames today. I'm about 2 years overdue. When I had my eyes checked out last month, the doctor told me that one of my eyes change, but didn't necessarily get worse. Something about astigmatism getting worse but eye site getting a bit better? I don't know about that stuff, so I'll just say yeeeeaah, that's the ticket. Anyway, my eyes had been bugging me a bit, and now that I'm back to reading for school, I'm starting to really notice it. All that to say, time for new spectacles. For the last 2 glasses I've owned, they've been a very similar look. Dark, brown plastic frames. I like the look, and I think they look good on me for the most part. I'm wondering, though, if I should get something different. So, what I'm going to do is "borrow" a bunch of glasses from a local place, and take some pictures of myself wearing them all, and get your opinion as to which ones look best on me. Look for that in the next few days. I'm hoping Wednesday afternoon, but could be as late as Friday. Anyway, it should be fun.

I also just want to mention something that's on my mind. I find marriage to be extremely rewarding. It's often very hard work staying on top of communication, and not being selfish a lot of the time, but the benefits far outweigh the work it takes to see those benefits. I have very much been enjoying my wife's company these days. I always have, but I've been appreciating it more lately, and I think it's because I work on the weekends now, so I only see her in the evenings or in the morning before her work. Well, I don't think that's the only reason, but I'm sure it does help me appreciate her that much more. Anyway, I love her.

That's it for today. Thanks again for reading. Love you all. Take care!

Day 249

I just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I'll save you the review/critique, because I suck at doing that. I will say that I enjoyed it quite a lot. If you're interested in reading movie reviews, my brother has a blog, and he reviews movies regularly. His blog is called In a Darkened Room. The link is also in the column on the right side of this site

It was a good day at work this afternoon. We were quite busy pretty much the entire day, which made the day go by pretty quick.


Tomorrow and this coming week in general is buckle down time for reading and organizing myself. Often at the beginning of the semester I have trouble getting off to a great start as far as organizing myself goes. I don't know why...I just do.


I need to go to bed. One of the habits I need to break is going to bed much much too late. All of the things I do at night I could easily get done in the day. I think it's because I like the peace of night. My wife is sleeping and safe and I like that. The street gets much quieter, which I like as well. I know it's quiet if I can hear the ringing in my ears. I have it constantly. Anyone else?


Good night, all. Thanks for stopping by. Love you, and take care!

Day 248

Work today was pretty good. I have been practicing keeping cool when it gets busy. There's no use getting frantic, or trying to move as fast as I can, because it just doesn't help. Tomorrow (Sunday) might be busier, so I will be calmer yet. I realize this is probably boring for you to hear about, but it's the stuff that's on my mind, people. :)

Not sure what else to tell you. Classes are going okay so far. I'm a bit behind on my web class, true to form for ol' Jason. When I do web classes, I tend to lag for the first week or so. I'll be reading like crazy this week, to catch up on all my reading. I'm looking forward to it, actually.

I think I'm done for now. Thanks for stopping by today! Love you all. Take care.

Day 247

Short one tonight, folks! I hope you're all doing well.

Sorry, I really meant it. Really short. Take care!

Day 246

Spent some time in a coffee shop other than the one I work at, today. A two man crew from CBC was in, interviewing a woman who was a musician, and I think thought at the university from time to time. They were talking about culture (I think specifically art culture, but maybe not entirely only art culture), and Saskatoon, and all that. It was actually an interesting conversation...at least the parts I heard. The lady being interviewed was saying how the city of Saskatoon was at a crucial point in it's growth, and that we needed to make sure art culture, and other cultures, weren't lost in the growth. She then used Calgary as an example. She said that in Calgary big business sort of took over and sort of swept culture away. I also think she mentioned that it was improving there now. I found it interesting, in part because I've sort of observed that about Calgary, from what little I know about it. I know there are areas and people in Calgary that might disagree. I don't know enough about the city to make actual statements about it's culture. As of now, I think the people of Saskatoon have been doing a good job of maintaining, growing and nurturing it's culture. I enjoy the city, and hope it can keep it's vibe. Well, not the bad driving vibe. But I think everyone says that about their city. Bad drivers. I'm beginning to think everyone is a bad driver. Some are just worse than bad.

I got an unexpected, yet much appreciated gift today. A little background information first. My grandma, who passed this past Christmas, used to always make various canned items, and jam, and apple juice, and other things. I had two favorite things that she made: apple juice (I could drink gallons of grandmas home made apple juice), and chokecherry syrup. We used to put chokecherry syrup in a bowl, add some cream, and eat it just like that. Often we'd dip bread in it as well. Soooo good. Okay, well, a friend of mine that happens to work on the same floor as my wife, passed on some of her own chokecherry syrup for me to have. When my wife messaged me to let me know, I teared up. I was reminded of how much I missed my grandma, and memories of eating the syrup came back, along with different memories of grandma on the farm. I don't know why, but when I remember my grandma, it's usually visions of her on the farm. I think those were my favorite memories. Maybe it is because my youth was simpler. Who knows. Anyway, to you who passed on some of your home made chokecherry syrup, thank you thank you thank you. I haven't said your name because I haven't asked your permission. But you know who you are, and I appreciate it so much. I bet you didn't know your actions and generosity would have such a big impact on my day. :)

I think I'll leave it at that for now. I've been chatty kathy tonight, so I'll stop. Thanks for coming by again. Keep coming by, as I think I have an announcement in the next few days.

Love you all. Take care!

Day 245

I've been surfing on something called Pinteresting, or something like that. There are some pretty sweet ideas and other need stuff on that site. Anyway, the time got away, and now I'm going to cut this one short.

I was just thinking tonight about how fast things can change in life. Maybe the changes are a long time coming, but when they do come, it seems fast. For me, only 7 weeks ago or so, life was much much different than it is now. Seven weeks before that, it was even more different...and so on and so on. When change comes, it seems to come on fast.

I think that I'm finished this one. Sorry it's not the most exciting. Thanks anyway for coming here and reading over and over again. Love you all. Take care.

Day 244

I had fun reading the comments to yesterdays post. I should do that more often.

My wife and I were talking on the couch tonight. She asked me if I felt different, or better, now that I was working and going to school. I didn't have to think very long about my answer. I definitely do feel different these days. I think my self confidence is up, and it definitely better now that I have some structure in my life. I am not too busy (I don't think yet, at least), and my life isn't too slow. I think I have balance at the moment...at least as far as work school play is concerned. I haven't made myself so busy I that I don't have quality time with my wife, or friends. I'm not bored now, or wondering what to do. At the moment, it feels right. I'll definitely enjoy it, while it is here.

I will talk to you tomorrow at some point. I love you! Thanks for reading. Take care.

Day 243

Something came up while we were hanging out with friends tonight, that really made me laugh. It made me want to ask if this something specific has ever happened to you, and I would like your honesty. I figured that we can keep it anonymous if you'd like, by just clicking the "like" box if it has happened to you, or the "don't like" box if something like this has never happened to you. Anyway, I'll get on with it.

Our friend mentioned that while they were grocery shopping the other day, they passed gas in the aisle because the aisle was empty. Just as they finished, someone came around the corner in to the aisle. It also happened to be gas of the smelly variety, so my friend just walked away before the other person got near them. My friend pretended to shop in another aisle for a while, then came back to shop in the original aisle.

Well, let me be the first honest person and say this almost exact thing has happened to be on a few different occasions. If you think less of me now, I think you have denial issues. :)

Again, let me know if this or something like this has ever happened to you at a store or a grocery store. Just click the "like" box if it has happened to you (as in, you were the gas passer), and "dislike" if it has never happened to you (as in, you're in denial that you pass gas).

If you're brave enough, or have no shame about this subject like me, go ahead and share your stories in the subject.

This is just going to be awkward if no one participates. Please humour me!

Thanks for stopping by again. Love you all! Take care.

Day 242

It's finally here...the cool weather. I think most of you who know me at all, probably know that I don't like the heat. I wilt in it. I only enjoy the summer if it's 22 degrees outside, or under. If it's warmer than that, there better be a breeze or some cloud cover. I don't get when people like giving themselves cancer for hours on end under the dangerous sun. I also don't get when people like sitting there sweating. It doesn't make sense...to me anyway. I guess power to them, if that's what they like. They probably don't get why I like cooler weather. Anyway, this week looks like it's going to be a lot cooler than it has been, which means I'll be able to sleep better, I'll stop sweating, and my body won't overheat, which in turn affects my mood. I fight it every time. I try to stay calm and in good spirits, but if it's hot enough, I always end up frustrated, annoyed, claustrophobic, sticky, brain dead, etc. I've talked about this too long already. It's over for another season I hope. As I mentioned...the cool is here now. I just hope it stays.

Enough about that.

It was a pretty good Sunday overall. Went to church this morning, which was good. After that I worked all afternoon till 6, then went with my wife to her parents for supper. Went home, and now I'm just hanging out a bit before bed. This week school will be slightly busier, as my other two classes will start. I'm looking forward to getting into the readings and assignments. I'm a little apprehensive about my research class, as it involves a lot of statistics math, which I have never done. I suppose I'll find out how it is soon enough.

I think I'm finished here for the night. Thanks for reading. Love you all. Take care!

Day 241

I was planning on eating a grocery bag full of apples, but I ended up not feeling like it. I had a few though. Our friends Erin and Daniel have two apple trees in their back yard with tons of apples left on them, so we quickly picked a few cloth grocery bags full. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them yet. Erin gave me a recipe for apple crisp which is really tasty. Thanks, Erin and Daniel for the apples.


It's late again, and I have to be up early tomorrow, again. Sigh. It should be a good day though. I lead worship music in the morning, and get to work in the afternoon making coffee/espresso drinks. Then I get to spend the evening with my beautiful wife. That's the part I'm looking forward to most.


Good night, all. Thanks for reading. Thanks for stopping by again and again. I hope you're doing well. Love you. Take care.

Day 240

I wish I could/wanted to put more energy into my 240th post, because it's another increment of 10 reached!

There's nothing new I can tell you these days, really. Well, my classes are settled sooner than I though, so that's good. I'm taking 3 all together. I was only going to take 2, but decided this would help me down the line. I'll be working as well, but I can handle it. It'll probably be pretty busy at times, but I need to be busy now I think. I was extremely not busy for so long that I feel I need to prove myself or something. Of course, I don't need to...but I'm looking forward to having a busier, more structured fall. I'm hoping to get involved with a couple more things, but more on that later. (I need to plan it out first before I talk too much about it...I know some hate when I do that...they rather I just wait till I can say, then say it. Too bad!)

I guess I'm done for now. I hope you're all doing okay. Love you, and thinking about you (at least the ones I know who read this). Take care!

Day 239

Classes aren't quite figured out yet, but almost. I have the classes I want, but I want to switch one to a web class version. Did I mention this already? Probably. Anyway, I'm glad that's working out so far. I'm just waiting on an email from someone and hopefully it'll go the way I want it to go. If not, I'll deal with it.

I'm not sure what else is going on, or what to tell you. Things will settle in soon, as my class schedule is solidified, and I get more comfortable with work. I'm looking forward to some routine. I just need to get to bed earlier, so I can enjoy it!

On that note, I'm going to head to bed now. Thanks so much for reading today. Love you all. Take care.

Day 238

I have to shake my head sometimes at the wonder that is facebook. The strangest thing I think we see is the birth, development, withering, and eventual death of relationships. We watch as people start dating, get engaged, married, and from time to time, break up, separate, or divorce. Although I can't imagine the pain of a serious separation or divorce, I can't help but wish it wouldn't happen for all to see. For their sake mostly. I hate when relationships go bad, or when they are poison. I hate it even worse if it's repairable, but nobody seems to want it repaired. Then again, I don't claim to even begin to understand what goes on in each relationship. Anyway, I don't really know why I'm talking about this. I suppose it's just been on my mind. I'm so happy that my marriage is a good one. My wife is a strong, patient, loving woman...thankfully. :)

Wow it's late. I don't have class tomorrow, but I do have a couple of appointments. First, I have an eye specialist appointment. About a year back I was getting really red eyes, and it wouldn't really go away. I was referred to a specialist, and have been going every 6 weeks...er...six months since. It's usually fairly quick and painless. I might have to get my pupils dilated, which sucks, because my vision is really bad afterwards. I'm driving there, but might have to wait a while before driving home. In the afternoon, I have a cleaning appointment at the dentist. Should be fun.

I'm going to bed now. This is the latest I've stayed up in a while. Love you all, and thanks for reading. Take care!

Day 237

Things are looking up.

Day 236

This week I start school. I've been working quite a bit lately, but while I'm in school, I'm working basically weekends and the odd afternoon. I think it will be a good balance between work and school. We'll see though...I might want to pick up a few more hours. Time will tell.

That's it tonight I think. Take care everyone. Love you.

Day 235

Church, work, supper, movie, bed. Good night.

Day 234

Late again. I have to be up early, and I need to go to bed. I'm really excited about tomorrow after work, because my parents are coming in to the city and staying overnight. I don't work Monday, because we're closed for the long weekend holiday.

Saw the fireworks festival tonight. It was okay, but quite short. We stood around and visited and listened to the music, then within 15 minutes, the fireworks started and ended.

Okay, I'm out of here. Sleepy. Take care everyone. Love you!

Day 233

Finally we went grocery shopping tonight. We wanted to hang out with people pretty bad, but everyone was either busy, sleeping, or almost sleeping. I'm glad we went grocery shopping. It was fun to walk around with each other and pick out stuff we needed/wanted.

Work went well again today. I'm slowly getting more comfortable behind the espresso machine, and with other things. I'm sure I drive others crazy with all my questions, but it's how I learn. Well, question asking and repetition/practice.


Tomorrow I would really like to get out and shoot with my new 24mm. I've only shot it around the apartment, but not really with purpose, or with something in mind. I'm hoping maybe at the farmers market, or a landscape or something like that. Who knows.


I thin I'll leave this post at that. Thanks for reading again. Take care.

Day 232

Have I mentioned that having a daily blog makes thinking of content a bit more difficult? I probably have...many times. Well I'll mention it again. Content is at times a bit more difficult when doing a daily blog. I also think it's more difficult to keep readers coming back day after day. So thanks to those who come back on a regular basis. It has meant a lot to me...you have seen me at my worst, and I'm hopeful that you'll see me on the way to my best.

I bought a new lens today. It's a 24mm f/2.8. Basically, it's a wide angle lens. I am looking forward to taking it out and doing some shooting.

Well, I'm falling asleep sitting in the chair. Take care, all. Love you!

Day 231

There were a couple things I wanted to talk about, but when I sat down to write, I blanked out. You're welcome.

School starts next week for me. I am looking forward to it, but I still have to figure out how many classes I'm taking. I am registered for three right now, but I might drop one. My intention was to work part time, and do part time school. Taking two classes would allow me to pick up more hours at work should they come available.

I have to get up earlier than usual in the morning, so I'm heading to bed now. I feel like I could sleep for 5 weeks.

Thanks so much for stopping by and reading. Love you guys. Take care!

Day 230

Hey, 230! As I've said before, reaching increments of 10 makes me happy.

Day off today, and I'm in a coffee shop. Ha ha...I'm checking out a place called Collective Coffee, on 20th street in Saskatoon. It has one of those mini garage door style doors (which I love), opening it up to the air. They also have a regular door to the side, for when the winter hits. The decor is really nice as well. Their espresso and coffee beans are supplied by Intelligensia out of Chicago. Pretty tasty stuff, if you ask me. Anyway, I'm still partial to Museo...but maybe I'm biased. Both places putting out good product, and I always support small local businesses, even if they are competing. There is definitely a lot more room still for quality coffee bars in Saskatoon....like, for quite a few more, if you ask me. Also, there needs to be a guy/girl to go around teaching other coffee shops some skills and tips, etc to improve their stuff.

Anyway, not sure what else to write about at the moment. Life seems like it's going pretty good these days. At least, my definition of pretty good. Actually I would say it's going really well. I'm looking forward to starting a regular class schedule, and working around it, and continuing honing my skill behind a camera. I mentioned previously, I think, that I purchased a flash. I'm looking forward to using that more, especially off camera. My in-law's have a nikon flash as well, so I'll be able to use my camera to control those and do some different lighting stuff. I don't really know the first thing about flash/strobe photography, so I'm basically a blank slate. Well, I shouldn't say blank...my friend Jason Finkbeiner of Jay Scott Photography has been slowly teaching me about lighting and using flashes off camera. I say slow because I'm a bit of a slow learner at times...especially with stuff that's so technical. The artistic side might be a bit easier for me to learn...but the technical stuff is a bit of a challenge. Anyway, please stop by Jay's site, and if you're so inclined, comment and like his stuff.

I also want state that when I say that my life is going well these days, I don't really mean that my life was terrible previous to now. I didn't feel good, and there were a few things that could have been going better...but I always knew that my life itself was nothing to complain about, because I had breath, and had a wife who loved me, and friends and family who did as well. Anyway, hope that makes sense. Maybe it's just a bit easier now, because certain things have improved. I think I'm just thinking in type. Something to think about, anyway.

Thanks for stopping by again. Love you all. Take care.

Day 229

Last sleep at the acreage, and Tuesday morning I will finished packing up and doing laundry then I'll take our stuff back to the apartment. Looking forward to being in our own place again, even though it's nice to be in a house.

Tuesday and Wednesday are my days off this week. Days off have meaning again in my life, which is a very good thing.

I'm going to sit down tomorrow and blog a bigger one I think. Our days have been pretty full for the last week, hence the lame blog posts.

Take care, all of you. Thanks for stopping by. Love you!

Day 228

Okay, sorry about the late post. I sat down to write this last night, and for some reason the server couldn't be found. Not sure if there was anything I could have done about that, but here we are.

Work has been good. I've enjoyed learning how to work in a small business setting, which is fun in many ways.

Last night as I was enjoying supper with my wife's family, I realized I was thinking about work, and wanting to go back and get better at it.

I think I'll stop there. Ha, I can hear chickens roaming around the yard.

Take care everyone.

Day 227

Late, and I'm super tired. I worked this afternoon, and went to a wedding reception tonight. Overall it was a good day.

I'm going to leave it really short, because my mind isn't firing on all cylinders at the moment.

I hope everyone of you is doing okay. Leave a note to say hi if you'd like. I check them regularly, and will reply, unless I miss a comment for some reason.


Take care, and thanks for reading.

Day 226

Tonight a strange thing happened to my wife and me. My wife was busy during most of the evening, so I hadn't seen her all day. When the time came for me to pick her up, I was really looking forward to seeing her. I missed her. Anyway, Throughout the evening, I started feeling a bit sick, and frustrated with not finding/not wanting to find dress clothes. What I didn't know at the time, my wife was having a bit of a rough night as well, for various reasons. Anyway, short story even shorter, even though I missed her and was looking forward to seeing her, we ended up having sort of an argument. Turns out that both of us just wanted the others empathy, but neither of us were offering. Anyway, we worked it out, and things are just fine, like I know they'll always be. It just sucks when it happens!

Well, work again tomorrow, then a wedding reception. I miss the ceremony, which is okay with me, because it's going to be hot in that church, and it'll probably be a longer service, being catholic and all (no offense to Catholics...but your wedding ceremonies are much too long). I do, however, get to go to the reception and eat food. Good deal for me.

That's all I think for now. Thanks again for reading my daily blog. You're the best! Love you.

Day 226

Well, the birthaversary, or annibirthary, or whatever you want to call it, is basically in the books. Started off dropping my wife off at work, and coming back to the acreage to tend to the animals. After a while, I went back in to the city, where I picked up a flash for my camera. From there I went to work and had a good busy 5 hours there. After work I went for supper with my wife, then went for a hair appt for her, then met for ice cream with my parents-in-law. I can't tell you why the day was so good...it was just good. I feel satisfied after a day like today. Maybe I'll figure out how to explain it another time. For now, it was just a good day.

I was scared to turn 33. Jesus was about 33, and he changed the world. I have done nothing of the sort.

Okay, really though, I've been thinking of what my 33rd year will have in store for me. I got to thinking about changing the world, and how I could do that. Then I got to thinking, I could do that on a person by person basis. So, simply, but not easily, I want to positively change people's lives this year. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to do that yet, but that's what I want to do. (Note: I didn't say saves people's lives, I said positively change...this doesn't necessarily have to mean in a huge way...just a positive one). I'll keep you posted on this.

To my wife, on our anniversary...you're the best. These last 4 years have been great. Marriage isn't always easy, but with you it's always rewarding. I love you I love you I love you. Thank you for your willingness to understand, and your patience.

Thanks for reading. Take care!

Day 225

I'm not sure what to write about at the moment. Well, I have stuff I want to write about, but it's a bit late now, so I'll just do it tomorrow morning. I will say, goodbye 32. Nice knowing you. You haven't been very nice to me, but I'll forgive you.

Also, to my wife, I love you so so much. Happy anniversary (which I'll wish you when you wake up). Best 4 years of my life. I'm so happy and thankful that you're part of my story.

I'll talk more about both in the morning. Take care. Love you guys!

Day 224

Tuesday night, and it's really quite here. My wife and I are house sitting out an an acreage just out of the city. This isn't the first time we've stayed out here. We really enjoy it, for the most part. They have lots of animals to take care of, and hang out with. It's not just a boring old regular house. They have a lizard, a tortoise, a rabbit, a dog, a cat, and nine chickens. They had a fish as well, but it died when we house sat last time. It wasn't our fault, I promise. My wife also had to give the tortoise antibiotics via needle every day while. That was interesting. The tortoise (Pokey) is healthy now. All of the animals are, thankfully.

Did you know that chickens put themselves to bed? All we need to do it open the coop in the morning, and close it in the evening....OH, and the instructions the owners left said to ward of coyotes. They have a sense of humour. Well, if I had a rifle, I would love to ward off coyotes. As it stands now, they have a nice variety of chickens to feast on back there. Have at it, coyotes.

I think I'll stop there for now. Thanks so much for reading. Take care! Love you!

Day 223

Well, it came and went - my first day at the new job. I really enjoyed it for the most part. My brain needs to condition itself to remember orders and a few other things, but overall I really enjoyed it. This may not sound like a big deal at all to many of you, but my espresso shots were quite good, as was my milk. The first latte of the day impressed my boss and his sister, who also works there. Good start!

This fall is shaping up to be the best one in a while. I'm really excited to be doing part time school while working part time. I've never done that before. I've done full time school, but don't have the capacity to do work as well as full time school. Almost all my attention needs to be on studies. I know there are people out there that talk about how they took a million classes and volunteered at 16 different places and worked and reared children and still had time to go to the movies and on weekend trips and never did homework on Sundays. Good for them. That is all.

I think I'll start working on my BC trip videos again, and after that I want to do short vlogs more often. Look for that in the not so distant future.


I'll leave it at that for now. Thanks for stopping by. Take care of yourself! Love you!

Day 222

Sweet...222.

Today was a good day. Church was good. A last minute bbq was good. Late afternoon nap with my wife was good. Visiting with friends who we are house sitting for this week was good. Good hard laughs and giggles with my wife before bed was good. Praying together afterwards was good. It was a good day.

Tomorrow I will have my first day at my new job. I'll keep you posted on how that goes. I'm sure it will be fine, because they are good people there.

Thanks again for reading. Take care of yourself. Love you!

Day 221

Went to a wedding today, and it was really fun. The reception was one of the better ones I've been too. They had great food, great treats, a candy buffet, and something called Open Photo Booth. Basically, a guy had simple white paper backdrop, and the groom supplied props, and people posed how they wanted, as much time as they wanted. The photos were uploaded immediately onto facebook, on to Open Photo Booth's facebook page. Right after you got the photo taken, the photographer had a really nice printer printing off 4x6's to give to the guests. It took a while for people to start getting creative, but man did people start to get creative...and yes, at times inappropriate! Ha. Good times. It is a great idea, and a real money maker, I'm sure. Something perfect for a photographer who likes to interact with many people, and just have a fun time. the printer is 1700 dollars, though, so it's not a cheap start up! I feel like I'm just rambling.

Some else cool happened today as well. I got to see an old friend who I haven't seen in over 10 years. It was really neat to see him again (and see his wife and kids as well!). I hope it happens more often. Super nice people, and when I was sitting there chatting, I realized why I was friends with him back in the day. Good people...that's why. If you're reading this, D, thanks for the text today. I'm glad I saw you guys.

That's it for today. Thanks for stopping by again. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read what I have to say.

Speaking of taking the time from your day...if you feel like it, could you let me know what keeps you coming back here? What sorts of things to you hope I talk/write about? What sort of things do you wish I would write/talk about less? I remember the suggestions that a couple of you made a while back, and I still think about them. Don't worry, I'll get on the eventually. But if there's something that keeps you coming back, I'd like to know, so I can do more of that. Thanks for your input!

Take care, all. Love you guys.

Day 220

Another increment of 10 completed! I love that feeling. I've done it 22 times so far. Yay me.

I think I've mentioned in a previous post how I look forward to autumn, for a few reasons. I don't know if I said this, but I'm also expecting more out of myself this year (I'm referring to school years,  as I'm in school still). I took this last winter semester (January - April) off, thinking it would be an exciting time. I wanted to work, Jenn and I were going to start trying for a family, and I planned on enjoying not being in school for a little while. Well, if you've been following this blog for a while, you will well know that my semester didn't turn out like I was hoping/planning. In fact, parts of it turned out the opposite. For example, we tried for a baby, and our baby died. I wanted to enjoy the semester off, and I fell into a depression, and spent a lot of time crying or feeling a pretty deep sadness. Anyway, I'm not feeling sorry for myself anymore...just recapping and explaining so I can talk about something else.

One of the things I haven't really talked about in this blog is work. Many of you may know this already, but to make a long story short, before I started looking for work for my time off of school, my depression started creeping up on me. Along with that, my self confidence and self worth plummeted. To my surprise (sort of), when I started looking for work, I would feel anxious, panicky, afraid. I started thinking that no one would hire me, or that I wasn't good enough. So, because of that, I was paralyzed in a way. Paralyzed to my apartment, or to my couch some days. Sigh. Anyway, I haven't worked for a long time. It's not something I'm proud of or wanted to happen. I've always worked or went to school. I haven't done nothing like that. I mean, these days I've been trying to keep myself busier with photography and errands and stuff, but it wasn't good enough for me. It was one of those things where something leads to another thing and then that thing gets perpetuated, etc etc. Not an excuse, really...but it happened. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that after the long road, I was finally able to find a job. It'll be part time while I'm going to school. I'm happy I have it, even though I've been experiencing a little anxiety about it. That's okay, though. That will pass, because not having a job has been a small time in my life compared to the grand scheme of things. This is the start of expecting more from myself, as I mentioned above. I'm excited that things are changing. I'm thanking God for giving me strength to get through my low season.

So, I understand if you're having mixed feelings about what I just told you. It's hard to explain why I went through what I went through. I'm sure there are all sorts of explanations. I'm not looking for them anymore, really. It's done. It was one of the biggest embarrassments in my life for these last months, and one of the things that I needed to overcome to get this stupid monkey off my back, so to speak.

Thanks for reading, and supporting me, and crying and laughing with me. Okay, I'll stop being cheesy. Take care, all. Love you!

Day 219

I am definitely getting a bit weary of doing this blog. I'm not going to stop, but man, I need to do some new material, or find something exciting to blog about. It's starting to become an exercise in will power.

My wife is bowling tonight, which will be fun for her. I will probably just hang out, maybe rent a movie that my wife would not usually watch with me (either scary, or a violent action movie, or something else not really of interest to her), or find someone to drink beer with, or go and make a couple pictures. I don't know yet.

Wedding this weekend, which should be a good time. I'm sure I know quite a few people going, which will be good. It's always a bit of a bummer when you're seated at a table with all people you don't know. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind meeting new people, but for a wedding reception, I like to sit with people I know, then meet new people throughout the night. Whatever happens, happens, though. It's not my day, it's the bride and groom's day. It will be good.

I'll stop there, I think. I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for being patient with me as I struggle through a slight lull. I have some ideas written down, I'm just not doing them. Ha ha.

Take care. Love you!

Day 218

Wow for some reason I forgot to do yesterday's post. I'm losing my rhythm these days. I'll get back on it, really.

I've been encouraged with my photography, lately. I finished and delivered another set from a shoot I did last week. It was a unique shoot, and I was wondering if they would like the photos. Turns out they did, and I'm feeling good about it. I think my skill is growing slowly, which is exciting.

This morning I'm taking our car in to get checked out. While we were in Calgary, a piece fell out from under it. It looks like it got really hot and brittle and broke off. I think it's a bracket thingy that holds some kind of line in place. Anyway, it shouldn't have broke off, and hopefully the cost is low. Who knows.

Okay, sorry again for the late post. I'll post later today (but not really late) to catch up. Take care!

Day 217

Another day finished. It was an okay day overall. There's a potential development in my life, which I'll fill you in on later. I know when I do that it annoys some of you...but I'm doing it anyways. It's like me saying I have stuff on my mind but won't talk about it now. Ha ha. Oh well.

School starts in a few weeks, which I'm looking forward to sort of. I think I'm taking 2 classes at least, and maybe 3.

I'm still not sure taking this last semester of school off was the best decision, but I did it, and there's obviously no looking back. Many of the things that made this last winter and this summer so difficult weren't in my control, so I can't really blame myself. Grandma died, I fell into a depression, we lost our baby, and I've struggled with self esteem and self worth more than I ever have. And even if those things aren't in my control, I'm not blaming the world or god or any external force for the stuff I've gone through. It just happened, and I've either worked through it, or am working through it. I've learned a lot about myself, and about other things. I've learned that my wife seems to have endless love and patience for me. She believes in me after all the struggles I've been through, and the endless days I slept half the day away and cried the other half away. She made the phone call to the doctor for me, and encouraged me through my healing. She is the best wife I could ask for. I don't deserve her, but I have her. She is incredible.

So hopefully this coming season brings good things. I will be praying for a good autumn and semester at school. I'll be praying for my depression to stay away. I'll be praying for strength for others in their depression and anxiety.

Thanks for reading again. Take care. Love you.

Day 216 - Confession time

Okay, this is actually today's post.

I will keep it short, but here's the brief low-down of what happened.

I was complaining about the heat, as usual. In a few different statuses, a person (who most likely none of you know, and it wasn't any of you) kept on saying something like it's going to be hot for a long time. Not a huge deal, but I sort of poked back (should have said joking or whatever, but I didn't) in a more-aggressive-than-necessary way. Well anyway, this started a back-and-forth that lead to him defriending me on facebook. Sigh...how childish on both of our parts.

Anyway, I while later, but on that day, I wrote a message saying that I was  very sorry it had to lead to that, and that I had a complete lack of judgement and shouldn't have been so dumb, but I guess the damage had been done, and I was accused of being unstable, creepy, lacking dignity, etc. I really tried to resolve it peacefully, but this person didn't want anything to do with that. The insults kept coming, which maybe I deserved. My big mistake was getting involved in the first place. I'm very embarrassed, and even though this person really isn't a friend anyway, I am sad that something like this happened...especially because I could have prevented it.

I'm old enough to know better, but I suppose I have my moments of weakness. It's probably something to do with my over sensitivity toward being bullied, and if I sense that someone is poking at me, I get upset. Teasing, okay, fine...I can handle that...but if I'm not sure, I'm afraid at times I won't really err on the side of caution. PLEASE don't get me wrong...this isn't an excuse. It's something that I need to work on.

Maybe a lot of you don't see the big deal. That's fine. I'm a pretty sensitive person, in case you couldn't tell. I love people, and strive (most of the time) to have good/civil relationships with others. Of course I have messed up lots. Probably some of you reading this are scoffing right now, because I've been a jerk. Let me know! Sometimes I'm oblivious.

This has been a ramble. Share your thoughts, if you'd like, about this stuff. Sorry if you thought better of me. I'll work on it. I really will.

Day 215

I know, this one is late by a day. By the time we got home, I was too tired and not in the mood to write a post. I'll let you know what is on my mind in today's post (remember this is yesterday's post). Let's just say that I had a complete lack of judgement on facebook the other day, and I am being called unstable and someone who lacks dignity and creepy and all that stuff! Fun times! If I wasn't able to remind myself that this person doesn't matter to my life and that he is now just being mean and insulting, I would be more upset than I am now. It's more just me being upset with myself at the moment. It's not who I am. I can't believe I even got involve in such a stupid thing.

Thanks for stopping and reading. Take care.

Day 214

I don't really have time for a big post. Being a short trip, I won't be ripping you off for long. I'll be back Sunday evening, so no worries. As if you're worried.

Had fun doing photos the other evening. It was quite a bit different than usual, as we were in an area with very high grass, lots of trees, strange props, and tons of mosquitoes. We managed, though, to have a decent time, and to get some shots. Now we'll have to see if they like them.

Okay, I have to get going. Thanks for reading. Love you! Take care!

Day 213

Friday, and we're off to Calgary. My sister told me it was supposed to be around 26 on Saturday...the day we're supposed to go to the zoo. I guess you can't win them all. It'll suck, but I'll try not to think of the heat. Instead, I'll try to drink lots and eat as much ice cream as I can. :)

One place I really enjoy going to when I'm in Calgary is Peter's Drive Through (or is it Drive In? I can't remember...oh well). Their burgers are great, and milk shakes are fun, because there are sooo many flavours to choose from or mix and match.


I'm really tired...it's bed time. Thanks for reading. Take care!

Day 212

Yes another video of our trip to B.C. Are you getting tired of them yet? I probably have enough footage to make a few more. I'll probably make them and post them regardless of what you say ha ha!

My sister comes into the city tonight, and I think we're checking out the exhibition tonight...at least for the food if nothing else. The rides don't interest me at all, except to look at them. I want to do long exposure shots of some of the rides, but would like a wider angle lens first. (inner voice) - "Self, make due with what you have, and make beautiful photos". Sigh...okay.

Let's see...the fair food I like? Mini donuts, elephant ears, fresh lemonade...probably lots of other stuff I'm not thinking of. Needless to say, it's not a very healthy night.

What's your favorite fair food? Seriously, tell me your favorite fair food in the comments.

I hope you enjoyed the video. When I'm finished making the BC videos, I'll probably be using my other Youtube account, and they will be more typical of what a vlog consists of, instead of just footage of scenery, etc.

Take care! Love you!

Day 211

Very short blog tonight. Day went well. My wife and I had supper at friends house. It was really tasty, AND we didn't have to cook, AND it was fun to just chat and get to know them as a couple. Triple whammy.

I'm pretty excited about our trip to Calgary this weekend. I don't get to spend a lot of time with my sister without her kids around, so this is a great opportunity. My wife and my sister get along well, and for my sister it's a rare chance for her to see how goofy and funny my wife can be.

I'm uploading another BC video tonight, and will post it tomorrow most likely.

If you haven't yet, and have a google account, don't be afraid to become a "follower" of this blog. Why, you ask? Because I'm all about the numbers. Ha ha. Seriously though. Do it.

Thanks for stopping by again, and again, and again, etc. I really appreciate it...really. Take care!

Day 210

Woo hoo, day 210. It doesn't really mean anything, but I like reaching increments of 10. This video is more from our vacation in B.C. Basically I recorded random pieces of our trip, and tried to piece them together somewhat chronologically. Enjoy.

Oh, and take care.

Day 209

I am trying to upload a video to post on the blog tonight, but it's taking forever, and I want to sleep at some point. I guess I'll just post it for tomorrow.

We had a really fun supper tonight on a roof top patio with my brother and sister-in-law. It was a mix of serious discussion and laughter. I really like roof top patios.

This Friday my wife and my sister and I are heading to Calgary area for the weekend. I'm looking forward to hanging out with my sister and seeing friends of ours who just moved to that area. Also, my wife and I try to get to the Calgary Zoo once a year. Well, at least we have since we were first married. Four years running. Not that big of a deal I suppose, but a little tradition of ours anyway.

I'm going to bed now. The video is uploading to youtube, and I'll link it to the blog tomorrow sometime. Thanks for stopping by. I still plan on doing a few of the things suggested a while back. Should be interesting when I get around to it.

Take care!

Day 208

I guess, I suppose, if it has to be, the end of another weekend.

The last few days has been fairly productive though, which has been good. It's the sort of productive mixed with doing fun things in between that makes it good. That make sense?

I had another photo shoot this weekend. It was fun, and challenging. The young boy was very energetic, and not super into getting his photos taken that day. I definitely learned a few lessons about photographing kids. Lesson one: faster shutter speed. Lesson two: always be ready. Lesson three: bring stuff. I'm sure there are more lessons, but those are three big ones. Always a learning experience. Doesn't make me a bad photographer. It doesn't make it not a photographer. It makes me a learning photographer. Yes, I'm inexperienced...but that just makes it more exciting for me. I refuse to believe that I need to be technically perfect, or artistically perfect to be a good photographer. That stuff will get better over time. I love doing it, and I love challenging myself to get better and better.

I think that's it for now. I uploaded some video tonight, but it's too late for me to edit one and upload it onto youtube. It's actually a pretty long process...lots of waiting.

You all take care of yourselves. Thanks so much for stopping by again and reading.

Day 207

Saturday was good. Went for coffee and lunch with my wife at a place called Il Secondo. It's a place I keep forgetting about, then when we're out and about on a Saturday morning in the Broadway area, we remember and get excited and go. They are a bit expensive, but very tasty. Their pastry and baking and coffee and espresso is all quite good. Their pizza is fire baked in one of those old school stone and brick fire ovens. I asked if I could come in and photograph it sometime, and he seemed interested. I took a card, and will email them at some point.

We went and saw Crazy Stupid Love tonight. I really really enjoyed it. Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling are good together. It was a funny movie about serious things. Seriously one of the best "romantic comedies" (if that's the right genre) I've seen. Afterwards I was giggling to myself at random times as I thought of parts of the movie. I usually never do that.

Well I think I'll go to bed. Church in the morning. I have to be there early because I'm doing the music. Thanks for reading. Take care.

Day 206 - B.C. Part 1

I know this video isn't the most exciting, but it's a bit of what we did when we were in B.C. the other week. I have at least a couple more videos to make. They might be a bit more interesting, but who knows! You don't have to watch it, if you don't want to.

Looking forward to the weekend. I'm hoping it's pretty productive, but also that my wife and I have a good time hanging out together. A good mix, maybe.

We're pretty excited for next Friday (the 12th). My wife and I are taking my sister to Calgary area to hang out and just get away. My sister almost never gets away, and has to care for 3 boys. We took her to Edmonton a couple years back, and that was fun. My parents are willing to take her boys for the weekend, which is so so nice of them. I'll keep you posted about that trip.

I'll leave it at that. Thanks so much for stopping by. Take care of yourself.

Day 205

This picture is from the fringe festival in Saskatoon. Every year, they have dancers (belly dancers, to be more specific) do different dances. It's super colourful, and pretty entertaining. These are just a few of the dancers, and I'm not sure what kind of dance it is. I like the way it looks like they're dancing for the camera.

I want to go back to the fringe before it ends (I think it ends this Saturday). I wasn't pumped about how most of my photos turned out. Many of them were boring, or not close enough, or weren't framed well, etc. I need to be more aggressive/less shy about getting in there and making a good shot.

I hope you're doing well these days. I know a few of you have some pretty stressful things going on these days. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I love you and god loves you.

Thanks so much for reading. Take care.

204

Day 203

I've been up reading through some power points and now it's late and I'm tired. I should really try to do this blog earlier in the day, so you get more out of me, and more time to read it on the actual day...instead of the day after. I'll give that a try.


I hope you're doing well today. I've been doing fairly well. I haven't had bad bouts of sadness lately, which is good. I've been attempting to make positive progress in a couple key struggles I've been dealing with over the winter. It's a challenge, but I've been moving forward.

None of us are perfect. We all mess up. I do, however, hope you've been making progress in those areas in your life that you've been struggling with. It's a long road, and it sometimes feels impossible. I don't think it is, though.

Thanks for reading. Take care.

Day 202

Hey everyone. It's August already!

My wife and I were talking about august this evening. My wife talked about how August is the month when she feels the most expectation. I agreed. August brings the expectation of new things more than any other month for us. It brings the expectation of autumn. It brings the expectation of new programs, classes, etc. It brings the expectation of something, anything. It brings the expectation of winter. You know what I mean...when those nights start to get a chill...that sweet sweet chill. One of my favorite things of the summer. Sorry, but it really is. It's when I can start sleeping well again.

Anyway, we both like August for that reason. For us, new things start happening just after August.

I hope you're expecting good things this August.

Take care, thanks for reading.

Day 201

It's been a fairly long day, and it's late again. Sorry for the lame post. I'm really hoping to get some video up this coming week, and some more photos as well.

I hope your long weekend is going swimmingly. Thanks for reading. Take care.