I went to the dentist again this afternoon. I'm quite excited, as my bridge is going in during my next appointment in just over a week.
I had a good time hanging out with our friends at a bbq this evening. I always enjoy seeing my friends. I had a huge steak...first one I've had in a while.
Okay, I think I'm just avoiding what I really want to talk about, so I'll just go to bed or something. I'll leave you with a question to think about. You don't have to answer if you don't want to...at least think about it. Don't get me wrong...you're more than welcome to share.
How involved does one have to be in your life in order to ask you difficult, confronting type questions about your life? Can it be anyone? Do they at least have to know you? Friends only? Family only? Long term/close friends? Does rapport play a role?
I guess that was more than a question...but you get the point.
Thanks for reading! Take care.
3 comments:
Deep question. IMHO there certainly is a line that needs to be passed before you should ask those questions. I've had people asking things about me or my paralysis far too soon, especially when Google can provide a faster and far less awkward response. Now, I mean a second conversation when small talk might still be appropriate, nudging into questions about their job, hobbies or family. I also realize that the example I gave is not involving confronting questions, just questions too soon for the appropriate level of relationship progress.
I think there are a lot of people that know things about me that even my parents do not. That's not saying I'm not close with them, but I think relational closeness is not dependent upon bloodlines. I feel like my longest friends, even those I'm not as close with as I used to be, are equal or may even have an tiny edge over newer but closer friends in the weight I give their opinions and words.
That being said, rapport is very important. I've known you for a number of years, but only recently hung out regularly. However, your disposition, experiences, beliefs and similarities to me give your words to me great value in my mind. With only a half dozen or so meetings, I'd receive your concerned question with great respect and value. Would I ask a hard question of you? I don't know, but I don't think so. Why is it not equal in what I'd receive versus what I'd give? I think the non-confrontist, few friend having Jay wouldn't want to risk a good friendship even if in the past my silence allowed me to be persuaded to do or to initiate things I shouldn't have to keep the friendship. Let me add that the few friends I speak of is aimed at those few with whom I'm able to spend time with due to life, distance, schedules etc.
I suppose it depends on what the individual gives the most or least value to in the factors you've mentioned and other factors such as beliefs or standards.
I think anyone can ask you a hard question but it is you that gets to decide (based on many of the other questions you posed) how or if you choose to answer the question. Some questions (not even hard ones) can often take a person by surprise. I can think of at least one time you asked me a question that took me by surprise lol In the end it always comes down to what you are comfortable sharing the person that is asking the question.
Wow thanks you guys. Good insight.
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