Love you and miss you, grandma.

I got a call on Thursday morning from my dad, telling me through shaky voice that grandma had died. We knew that her time was limited, but weren't expecting her time to come so soon. I guess essentially her kidneys shut down.

I drove home that night with Jenn. As expected, it was miserable there. Grandpa is lost right now. When Jenn hugged him, all he said was "I lost my wife". I cannot imagine the heart break of being with someone through the thick and thin for 57 years, then her being gone. He's lost. My mother and her sisters and brother are lost right now as well. My mother talked to her mother almost every day of the week, for at least a few minutes. All she wanted was to hear her voice again. That's all she wants right now. I think that's all anyone wants right now. Such is the vicious nature of death, and wanting what we can't have. It tears at the heart, brings up feelings of guilt, panic, confusion, anger, denial, and more guilt.

My grandma was only 76. She was a week and a bit short of her 77th birthday. Her birthday is on Christmas day. That day will seem a bit less bright now. I'll look to God for comfort, as I hope others will. God, in time will help make our wounds less painful. I hope Grandpa and his three daughters and son find comfort in God during this quiet and sad time.

I love you and miss you, Grandma.

Jason